A Christmas story appears in the eastern sky

And it came to pass in those days, there went out a decree from Caesar that all within the city should be taxed even more. And all went to be taxed, every one for his real property and for his individual means of transport, however plain. And so George also went up from the bay of the Resurrection, out of the city of Seward and from the great river that since ancient times has been called the Tanana into Anchorage. He journeyed there with his wife and growing family that they could be counted and taxed. While they were there, the winter days grew cold and short and to them was delivered a third born son. They named him Dan, wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because they were homeless and there was no room for them at the Inlet Inn.

When Dan had grown into a man and the elders allowed him to teach in the Temple, he told the faithful that the City of his father was in decay and no longer safe for them. It was not a city of growth or prosperity. The homeless are now begging for copper coins in the streets, carrying cardboard signs and violating the Law. Thousands of the faithful peered out warily from inside darkened tents pitched along Ship Creek or from their barricaded homes. They were afraid of the wandering bands of homeless people and of the crushing burden of real property taxes. Timidly they asked, Teacher, what are we to do? With confidence and clarity Dan replied: I shall first drive out the beggars from the streets of the City and make our streets safe again. I will ask our brother Paul to help us expel the foreigners from our midst unless their papers are in order. I will cut the wages paid to indolent city workers and I will levy a sales tax on goods and services in order to pay for new run off elections. We will spray pesticides on our gardens again and allow merchants to rebuild their pole signs over the marketplace.

And in the same country the men who produced the lamp and heating oil, the land barons, and the wealthy merchants were keeping watch over their holdings by night. And, lo in the empty regions of outer space, a trumpet sounded and the Archangel Ruderich came upon them in the night. Fearing a UFO filled with invading liberals, the men were at first afraid. But the Archangel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold I bring you good tidings of great joy: For this day is risen in the city of the great King George, a new champion and savior, he is Dan the Man. With him will come tax cuts for the wealthy, blue tickets for the foreigner, and a paddle for the little children. And after the trumpet sounded again, a multitude of the heavenly hosts including the Angels Ted, Ben, Don, Lisa, Dan, Chris, Jennifer, Paul, Bill, Debbie and the others not yet indicted sang Dan's praises, saying Glory in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward the party's chosen few.